I know I didn’t make any blog post about this 2012’s goals but I did put them down into writing on my personal journal, and one of my goals for this year is to travel. Probably not quite as much as last year, but I do already have plans to travel with my daughter plus some friends anytime soon locally. There are a lot of deals online and I’m seriously tempted to grab the opportunities, however, as early as now, I’m already saving up for my daughter’s tuition fee, so I’m sort of putting off the travel to most likely during summer vacation.

It’s going to be difficult for me to travel with my daughter being a single mom, and I’m sure everyone knows how hard it is to fully enjoy a travel if your eyes are always stuck looking after  a 4 year old kid and chasing her around alone, but I’m after the bonding moments so I’m sure it will be all worth it. Or I might take the nanny with me, although that will be an additional cost on my part. *decisions, decisions…*

But maybe for the next few years, the next travel destinations would be to other countries. I’m hoping to go to places around the Asia first because it’s nearer, plus the fare is cheaper than those on the other side of the map. But of course, this entails a lot of money, so again, I might also put this off, until I get myself a lot of money to spend for this kind of trips.

Out of curiosity, I was doing some researches on where to go to and places to stay, and I came across iBilik, which is basically a Malaysian travel website where you can find affordable places to stay during the travel period. The website is actually very user-friendly where you can choose the place you’re going to stay, and it will show you a list of available rooms for rent (both long term and short term). It even has the option for you to choose based on your heritage. The website is actually very easy to use and for those who wants to travel to Malaysia should use it to get a place to stay.

I’d most likely do my bookings from this website someday when I’m finally prepared to travel overseas financially.

I fear quite a lot of things, although I cannot say that it’s a severe case of phobia, I do tend to get scared of pretty much a tons of things. For one, I am very much afraid of the lightning, which is called Astraphobia. I may not be as intense like those who check the weather reports every other minute, or running towards the basement whenever there’s thunderstorm, but whenever I see lightning flashes, I start trembling, panicking, sweating, and crying. People would think that I’m probably weird, but I just can’t handle walking outside knowing that I might get hit by a lightning during bad weathers. So what do I do? I don’t get out of the house. I make sure I’m safe from getting hit by one and I stay away from the window.

Actually, it’s not just the lightning that scares the bejesus out of me, it’s more on the sudden flashing lights. For one, I have a hard time plugging in a cord to an outlet because I fear that a spark would come out, although that’s something that I can still handle, however, things like a welding rod can make me cross to the other side of the road. This is why when I see a place with argon cylinder and carbon dioxide cylinders, I would know that it’s a mechanical and engineering area with those people who work with welding rods in which I have to get out of as soon as I can.

One of the things that I’ve always yearned for is to have a nice wedding. My family and close friends would know that I never experienced a real wedding.  Though I did get wed in front of a judge, it was done here in our house, and was something that was planned in less than a week. This doesn’t mean that I want to shell out tons of money just to have the wedding of the century, but I always wanted to have simple wedding in church. I always wanted to experience walking in a church aisle, while seeing the man that I’ll be living with forever smiling and waiting for me in the altar. I don’t even have to invite the whole town for the reception, as I just want to keep the wedding as simple as possible with the closest people. To be honest, I just want to feel the excitement, the tension, the pressure, and the overall experience of becoming a church bride. You might think that I would want wedding flowers Denver offers, however, all I just want to have is a pretty bouquet plus perhaps a few petals on the church aisle. I know there are a lot of Denver flower shops that can offer the simplest yet the best wedding flowers, but in the end, I’m not from the States, so I think I’ll just have to do away with flowers from Dang Wa or something, which I heard also offers the most affordable flowers in our area.

This is just my dream wedding, but before this happens, I need to get the partner to do this with

Being a single mom, and a blogger, I seriously am considering making another blog solely for my daughter Julie… I’ve actually been thinking about this since last year when I restarted blogging. A specific blog where I can put in every milestones she has, every experiences she’s undergone, and anything Julie! :p Oh, plus of course few articles and writings that would revolve around kids.

Although I can blog about her here, I feel that this blog is more about me and my “life encounters” than of her. And as she progresses each day, I feel the need to capture every little things about her that I’m sure are going to be worth a lot when I revisit them.

I already have plans for the blog, but I’m a bit busy with my online work as of the moment, so I’m afraid that I might not be able to maintain it as often as I should. I already planned to categorize it under the “kids” niche, however I’m still anticipating some expenses, specifically her tuition fee, which lead me to venture on to a new business opportunity (will talk more about that in another post).

Maybe if GoDaddy would offer another $1 .com domain anytime soon, I’d most likely grab the opportunity to make my long awaited julierayne.com domain up and running!

Most people would probably know that I’m trying to move on from a very bad break-up or more appropriately, a relationship that was all lies (“semi” full story here: Truth Be Told) but somehow, I’m coping up quite well with the help of my friends and family, although there are still moments wherein I still break down and cry. I’m currently thinking of ways on how to make my life more meaningful with what I have left.

Thanks to one of our common friends, he reminded me of the stages of moving on which I can’t believe I forgot about. I learned about this few years ago when I had a leadership development training which I would like to share with everyone (yeah, I used to want to be a supervisor and for that to happen, we had to complete all leadership development training programs. Actually the one that I learned before only came with 5 stages, but as I was doing some research online, I got to see that there are 2 more additional stages which are the most important part of moving on.

Before anything else, let me share to you this funny video of the 5 first stages of moving on:

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I know this is quite a late post, but I would just like to thank my cousin and her boyfriend for taking Julie and me with them last December 31, 2011 for a “pre New Year” get together.

We were supposed to go to SM Mall of Asia on December 30, but something came up so we had to postpone and decided to go there on December 31 instead. It was a great day for both Julie and me because there were quite a lot of firsts for both of us. Anyways, first off, when we got to the mall, we saw a big advertisement of “Mang Guo Bing” (Chinese for Mango Snow Ice) just before exiting the parking area and entering the elevator to the mall (yeah my cousin got a car!). My cousin and her boyfriend were dying to try the Special Mango Snow Ice so we headed to Xin Wang Hong Kong Café. I’ll make a review of the restaurant on my food blog later (update: here’s the review – Xin Wang Hong Kong Café – SM Mall of Asia) . It was one of the funniest day of my life because it was also the first time someone made me “steal” a Chinese spoon from a restaurant, LOL! More details on the food blog once I posted it. I felt like I was a culprit back then although I didn’t really do anything. It was my first time I took home a Chinese spoon from a restaurant out of sheer necessity. It was embarrassing yet totally hilarious on my part.

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While the holiday season is over, I never really felt that I was on vacation because our nanny also took her vacation and went home to her province, so I had to be a full time single mom to my beautiful daughter. I’m not complaining though because every time I had to go out with my cousin and my friends, I tagged my little one along and we get to bond more, although it can be quite difficult to move around plus the fact that I couldn’t really enjoy the moment 100% because my eyes were stuck at making sure my little one is okay, it also opened up more opportunity for me to prove to my parents that I can be a “mom” without anyone’s help.

Which is why if I really wanted to have a vacation with my daughter, I believe it would be best to take her somewhere “kid friendly”, places like playgrounds, theme parks, etc. However, to be honest, even though I take her to places where I know she can enjoy for herself, I don’t think I can take my eyes off her. I would want to make sure that she’s somewhere that I can see and run towards to just in case something happens (like if she trips or fall). If I had the luxury, I would definitely take her to Disneyland (yeah wishful thinking) which I’m pretty sure both of us would really enjoy…

This year, no I’m not promising that I’d take her to Disneyland (like I could – I don’t even have a passport), but probably start collecting few Disney memorabilia which some can find at WaltDisneyStock.com. The Disney stock items also make great Disney gift ideas especially for those who weren’t able to hand out gifts during the holidays. Or better yet, this year, I’ll spend quality time with my daughter and take her out to new places (or even places that we’ve both been before), and have myself a pseudo vacation with my little one every weekend.

Warning: This post includes very sensitive and some adult stuff… Additionally, I don’t need to be judged.

The purpose of this post is to finally let out all what I feel and share to everyone a “life encounter” that is worth learning from… and I hope that anyone who is in the same situation that I was, would find meaning or learn something from this. I’m sure this post is going to be quite long but I’ll try to keep it as short as I can.

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